This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
