I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
