i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
