Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
