Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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