Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
