Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
