she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
