There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
