remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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