you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Randomize
