when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
