Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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