This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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