I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Randomize
