one two three fourrrrnication!
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
