thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
