What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
