it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I have aggressive nipples.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
