And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
