Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Randomize
