Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Still dying that you shit outside
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
