i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
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