playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
