I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
