Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
