"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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