someone get that fucking seahorse.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
they call him Oral-B. enough said
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
