C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
