and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
