He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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