FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Randomize
