Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
