thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
