you didnt know i had herpes?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
