she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
