i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
We got so high we made milksteak
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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