I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
We left an ass print on the piano.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
