Can i not drive my cunt home
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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