2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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