i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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