Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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