no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
