i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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