I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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