Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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