My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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