How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
