I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
