She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
